[ Wow. The preamble fight was so loud and bombastic and lengthy that the actual death itself was...unexpectedly quick. Vlad is just left standing there, stunned, for several moments.
Then his brain reboots and, well. Okay, that may have been...strange to watch (he wishes he could say unpleasant, he really wishes he could, but really he was just feeling a whole lot of arousal the whole time), but this is exactly what they came here to do, wasn't it? He explicitly asked to be a spectator on this murderdate.
So. All's well that ends well, really. (Or like. All's well that lasts well for 15 minutes, he supposes.)
Vlad pours some fresh champagne, this time into all 3 of the glasses he brought with him. He offers two of them to Grell and Fukuda and clears his throat. ]
Well. Congratulations on your successful collaborative murder. Mahito is certainly a difficult one to kill.
[She flicks gore off the chainsaw, sending it blood in a wide splattering arc that paints the walls red.
Then Fukuda steps in, and her full attention is on him as she kisses back, hard, dropping her chainsaw to grab at his clothing and pull him closer. If anyone thought that Grell's arousal would decrease now that her target is dead, they were wrong.
[Well he's not THAT surprised because it had seemed suspicious that his hand got eaten right after killing Vlad but he is still!!! mutely alarmed and concerned???]
[ Vlad jolts again and, wouldn't ya know it, spills some more champagne. Fucking hell.
Well, there's still plenty left in the glasses. He still offers them to the two murderers--in fact, he offers Grell's glass even more. Consolation champagne, to take the edge off that sting of an eaten hand? ]
Well. Now that we've got two data points to compare, it seems like there is a pattern to...that.
If that thing didn't want us to indulge, it shouldn't keep bringing people back from the dead!!
[Grell's extremely annoyed (annoyed, not angry) at this situation, but she does calm down to huffy offense while the others keep talking. She'll take that glass now, Vlad.
Please ignore the way her arm is just. Bleeding everywhere.]
[GRELL your BLOOD... Fukuda looks like he wants to do something about it but??? He has nothing to stauch the blood with and she seems fine ignoring it...
So he will just take the other glass with his bloody crime hands. He's also a bit annoyed.]
I mean it's only this week, right? Nothing happened to Steven when he killed Vlad. It just seems inconsistent.
[Oh boy TIME HAS ELAPSED AND MAHITO'S JUST POPPIN' BACK UP FROM THE FLOOR LIKE A SPRING DAISY with a little startled sound. After a beat, he looks down at his shredded shirt, plucking at some of the bloody scraps with his fingers before tapping his forehead just to make sure the hole is gone. Look, he's heard Double Dying doesn't stick, but you gotta make sure about these things!
Anyway, very seriously:]
--Hmmm, that was a 7.
[HIS RANKING FOR BEING KILLED THAT HE JUST CREATED.]
[ just ROLLS HIS EYES distastefully at Mahito, although he can't help but admit it's pretty interesting to see someone come back from death here. He's never stuck around long enough to see it, nor could witness it happening to himself. ]
If it's not seven, then it has to be six! It can't be any higher, Gu Yun's already eight. [To Fukuda, first. Then, to Vlad:] It's important!
[IS IT????
That said, he seems mollified by the suggestion that he'll be getting another shirt... It's going to be the I L*VE HELL sweater. His very serious critique is just:]
It was way too short! Don't just come hopping outta nowhere and stick a drill through my head before I can even get warmed up, geez.
Oh, I hate to hear that an encounter was short! I have more stamina than that!
I'm sure we could come up with something~ else~ you might enjoy... [Oh sorry did you think Grell had stopped radiating horny vibes? No she's still very turned on.]
[THEY MIGHT BE WEIRD BUT GUESS WHAT, THEY'RE ABOUT TO GET WEIRDER.]
Wow, is this a regular thing? [He says, either not noticing or not caring to comment on the fact that Grell's wholeass HAND IS MISSING NOW????? (It's definitely the latter, god bless.)]
How cute! If I knew it was a date, I wouldn't have been so rude about it. [THIS IS A LIE.
Terrible horny vibes, though. He props his chin up with the heel of his palm, casting a smile Grell's way that might be pretty to a normal creature if it weren't for all the blood and gore. Good thing none of them are normal creatures?! Well. Vlad is fuckin normal compared to these other three. God.]
Well, you do seem to know how to have a good time.
[Oh??? Fukuda is a bit confused but he's not opposed to the direction this is threatening to take and frankly I think that is one of the worst things about him. Like he's not even excited or gung ho about it, he's just like. Passively on board. He's just happy to be included! He better be included anyway, or he's turning his drill back on.]
Well, it can't really become a regular thing, if we lose a hand every time... [He's vaguely disappointed?]
But maybe I should be punishing you both for ignoring me.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Then his brain reboots and, well. Okay, that may have been...strange to watch (he wishes he could say unpleasant, he really wishes he could, but really he was just feeling a whole lot of arousal the whole time), but this is exactly what they came here to do, wasn't it? He explicitly asked to be a spectator on this murderdate.
So. All's well that ends well, really. (Or like. All's well that lasts well for 15 minutes, he supposes.)
Vlad pours some fresh champagne, this time into all 3 of the glasses he brought with him. He offers two of them to Grell and Fukuda and clears his throat. ]
Well. Congratulations on your successful collaborative murder. Mahito is certainly a difficult one to kill.
1/2 just because icons
Then Fukuda steps in, and her full attention is on him as she kisses back, hard, dropping her chainsaw to grab at his clothing and pull him closer. If anyone thought that Grell's arousal would decrease now that her target is dead, they were wrong.
When Vlad speaks, she does step back. And then--]
2/2
You piece of shit!
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It happened again...
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Well, there's still plenty left in the glasses. He still offers them to the two murderers--in fact, he offers Grell's glass even more. Consolation champagne, to take the edge off that sting of an eaten hand? ]
Well. Now that we've got two data points to compare, it seems like there is a pattern to...that.
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[Grell's extremely annoyed (annoyed, not angry) at this situation, but she does calm down to huffy offense while the others keep talking. She'll take that glass now, Vlad.
Please ignore the way her arm is just. Bleeding everywhere.]
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So he will just take the other glass with his bloody crime hands. He's also a bit annoyed.]
I mean it's only this week, right? Nothing happened to Steven when he killed Vlad. It just seems inconsistent.
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ANYWAY.
Vlad grabs his own glass of champagne and lifts it up. ]
A toast, to a successful...murder date?
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Oh, it's certainly not over yet.
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It's not?
[This is news to him.]
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[ th-there's more? ]
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Anyway, very seriously:]
--Hmmm, that was a 7.
[HIS RANKING FOR BEING KILLED THAT HE JUST CREATED.]
This was my only shirt...
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We can get you another shirt, probably?
[No he can't skate through that;]
Are you ranking the murder? Can't you pick a different number.
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Really now? Is that really your priority?
[ he addresses this to both Mahito and Fukuda. ]
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What could we have done to improve~?
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[IS IT????
That said, he seems mollified by the suggestion that he'll be getting another shirt... It's going to be the I L*VE HELL sweater. His very serious critique is just:]
It was way too short! Don't just come hopping outta nowhere and stick a drill through my head before I can even get warmed up, geez.
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[HE CAN'T DO? ANYTHING ELSE? Look at him, he's a twig.]
A six is fine. This was all really Mr Vlad's idea, anyway.
[Grell might disagree but it's fine.]
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Not all of it. Just the part about accompanying them on a second of these, ah, murder dates.
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I'm sure we could come up with something~ else~ you might enjoy... [Oh sorry did you think Grell had stopped radiating horny vibes? No she's still very turned on.]
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Wow, is this a regular thing? [He says, either not noticing or not caring to comment on the fact that Grell's wholeass HAND IS MISSING NOW????? (It's definitely the latter, god bless.)]
How cute! If I knew it was a date, I wouldn't have been so rude about it. [THIS IS A LIE.
Terrible horny vibes, though. He props his chin up with the heel of his palm, casting a smile Grell's way that might be pretty to a normal creature if it weren't for all the blood and gore. Good thing none of them are normal creatures?! Well. Vlad is fuckin normal compared to these other three. God.]
Well, you do seem to know how to have a good time.
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Well, it can't really become a regular thing, if we lose a hand every time...
[He's vaguely disappointed?]
But maybe I should be punishing you both for ignoring me.