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[niceguyferatu]

this came up when i googled clown shitpost

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[commedia]

[They stare at him a little awkwardly.]

Love in general? Or love of someone in particular?

[niceguyferatu]

[ Vlad sees that awkward look and is a little annoyed by it. What, surely this isn't so bizarre? ]

Someone in particu--

[ Before he can even finish saying it, though, they get tossed into another memory! (5:24 - 6:08)

As the portal powers up, filling the lab with a sickening green glow and a crackling whine, Vlad finds himself utterly transfixed. He can't move, he can do nothing but gape at the incredible power that they've tapped into.

Did they really do it? Were their calculations right after all? It's--amazing, awe-inspiring, terrible--

And then it shoots an enormous beam of energy straight into Vlad's face. Terrible, indeed. The pain utterly wracks him, he can do nothing but scream until the beam subsides and even without seeing it, he can tell from the unimaginable burning sting that something is horribly wrong.

His face is absolutely covered in nasty pimples and boils, shiny and red and full of glowing pus. His hair is already streaked through with white, and it will only get worse with time.

His friends, partners, confidantes--and Maddie, the love of his life--stare at him and gasp in utter horror, clinging to each other for dear life and staring at him like he's some kind of abomination.

After whatever that energy did to him, maybe he is now. ]

[commedia]

...

[Wow, that's some nasty acne disease, bro.]

[Douman blinks and somehow, the awkwardness goes away? How odd. They just smile lightly. Now they see. Now they understand. So Vlad was doing it out of love...?]

You look alright, now. Perhaps this is the time to gain the love of your life's attention back, hm?

[niceguyferatu]

[ Wow! It sure sucks when it's your tragic mysterious backstory getting spilled, huh!!! ]

I've been trying. For well over a year now, I've been trying.

But even though I did eventually recover, it took years, and the world carries on regardless--people move on, graduate...get married.

[commedia]

...Ah. She is taken by another.

[Now THAT is a twist. Douman grins.]

And what are you here for, then? To wish for a world where she married you instead?

[niceguyferatu]

If that's what it takes, then yes. Anything that will allow me to right this cosmic wrong and redeem the lost years of my life.

[ douman's smile rankles him, just a bit--he feels like he's being mocked. ]

[commedia]

Ah, but you wouldn't be the man you are, today. Are you ready to throw all those years of collaboration with ghosts and the like away for this? What a determined man you are.

[niceguyferatu]

The man I am today is a compromise. I only ever worked with ghosts so extensively in pursuit of what I lost that day.

[ That includes both his lost love as well as the best version of himself, because if he'd spent the last 20 years of his life with Maddie, he's sure he would've become a better person.

(he is wrong about this. but he's not self-aware enough to realize it.) ]

[commedia]

[A tilt of the head.]

Speaking of ghosts....what was that machine? A "portal"? Is that what got you started in your path?

[niceguyferatu]

Yes...the very first of its kind. Its activation changed every aspect of my life from that point on.

But enough about me. You asked me what I thought of your recollection earlier. I'm interested to know how close my guess was--or wasn't.

[commedia]

Who is to say I'll tell you, Vlad?

[A placid smile.]

Even I don't know everything about myself. My memory isn't the best, after all.

[niceguyferatu]

And yet, here we were, witnessing one of your memories. If we saw it, you must remember it.

[commedia]

Perhaps! But I don't recall that moment in particular. Its just as much of a surprise to me as it is to you!

[niceguyferatu]

...huh. Really now.

So then what do you think was happening there?

[commedia]

A bad dream I had as a human? It certainly seems nightmarish...

[niceguyferatu]

Ah. From back when you were still just a priest, and not a summoned ghost?

Is it common for summoned ghosts like yourself to not remember parts of their life?

[commedia]

I'm not sure. I think it may have to do with my class as a Servant, but who knows!

[niceguyferatu]

And you're alright with just...not knowing these things?

[commedia]

As a tool of my Master, it is not my say to question why I am the way I am. I merely...am! Haha.

[niceguyferatu]

And what if you do want to? What then?

[commedia]

That implies I want to find out in the first place, Vlad. I am happy being the way I am.

[niceguyferatu]

[ vlad, looking at douman just settling: damn, bitch, you live like this? ]

Really? I can't possibly imagine myself being happy in those circumstances, but, ah, I suppose that is the nature of individuality.

[commedia]

Very true! Which is why your human life is valuable, indeed. It isn't as if you are a spirit like myself, doomed to walk the earth without any true human connections, hm?

[niceguyferatu]

[ looks at canon

haha! ]

I'm certainly doing my best to not make it that way.

[commedia]

Very good. I wish you the best, Vlad. I really do.